Insecure
by FireDisaster
Summary: A/U Post BreakingDawn Drabble series. "His sister is sleeping with her soulmate, the least he could do is grope her properly." Renesmee Cullen's perspective of Jacob and Leah.
1. Beautiful

Disclaimer: Nope, it aint mine. I know this, you know this, so let's just skip the formalties and get to business.

Drabbles are less stressful to write, and give me time to think about my other stories. This'll probably be short, around 10 chapters, give or take a chapter. Drop a little note, let me know what you think. My first attempt at tapping into Renesmee Cullen's mind.

Think Leah 19, Jacob 18, Sam 21, Paul, Jared 19. Quil, Embry 18. Rachel, Rebecca 20. Kim 18. Emily 20. Collin, Brady 15. Seth 17. Timeline is fucked up, once again, so yes everything in the original saga happened, just ignore at what age, what month, what year, and anything related to time.

Chapter One: Beautiful

* * *

She has her mother's eyes. Big, brown...empty.

And her father's hair. Bronze and wild.

She's beautiful, no denying this fact. Two years old, and she has a body women would die for. A face to kill for. Hair softer than pillows and a smile brighter than the sun.

_She _is angry. Lips always turned down, eyes always narrowed. Sharp tongue, rough bark, horrible bite. She's all legs. All chest. All ass. Five foot eleven inches of bronzed perfection like a slap in the face. When her lips do turn up (it's a rarity) she can light up a room. When she laughs, _he's _just enthralled.

_She _has her father's mother's eyes. Catlike and grey.

And _her_ mother's hair. Silky, black, and bone straight.

_She's _beautiful, no denying this fact. Nineteen years old, and she has a body that kills and a face that slaughters.

But Renesmee is more beautiful, her Jacob tells her that all the time. The most beautiful girl in the world, he calls her. Her beauty is unnatural, like a goddess on earth.

But _her _beauty is all natural. She doesn't need magic to make her drop dead gorgeous.

Renesmee sniffs, she's still more beautiful.

She watches from her tire swing, her hair flipping around her face, her feet dangling, as _they _laugh.

Renesmee wears dresses, skirts, blouses. _She _wears tight jeans, innapropiate shorts, small tops, flannel shirts, boots, converse. _She's _wearing jeans that look painted on, tucked into calf boots she leaves unlaced, and wearing _his _shirt. It's too big, far too big, so_ she_ ties it up in the back and rolls up the sleeves.

_She _meets her eyes from afar and winks; _she _knows what she did by wearing _his _shirt. It might as well have been a big neon sign screaming _HE WAS WITH ME LAST NIGHT._

She spins on her tire swing and gives them her back. She hears them laugh and can't resist the urge to glance over her shoulder and see him reach out and grab _her _by the waist before spinning her around in large circles. _She _laughs and squeals, kicking her legs but making no real attempt to free herself from his strong hold.

Renesmee frowns. She's still more beautiful than _her_, but she wishes it was enough.


	2. Just Friends

_Thanks for the response, keep it up. _

_Chapter 2: Just Friends_

* * *

_We're just friends, Nessie. _

He finds her jealousy cute and amusing, dismissing her concerns with a _we're just friends _speech. She snorts. As if she can't see his hand on her ass. She doesn't even know why she bothers coming to these functions. She mostly sits alone, just observing. But she is an imprint; the Alpha's imprint at that. It's almost mandatory for her to attend Pack gatherings. The Pack makes an exception for her, allows her onto their land. None of her family are welcome, though. Even though things have been...friendly...since the Volturi came and left, her family and the Pack have settled their disputes and maintain a distant yet amable relationship.

She doesn't even notice as the music starts up, but she does notice when her name is called. It's such a surprise she's actually being acknowledged, she looks up warily in fear of them trying to eat her. But it's her wolf, motioning for her to join them. She smiles lightly at him and stands to her feet, gathering her shoes in her hands and making her way closer to the fire. She's pretty sure no one will toss her into the flames with Jacob there, so she attatches herself to his side, leaning her head on his arm. He grins goofily down at her. "Dance with me."

She shakes her head. Renesmee Cullen does not dance. Maybe a few twirls and the Electric Slide when she feels silly, but not true dancing. Especially to fast music. Slow music, she can get away with. Just wrap her arms around him and sway. But music requiring a general knowledge of rhythm? She shakes her head again and attempts to back away. "It's okay, Jacob. You don't have to try and include me. I'm fine."

He playfully ruffles her curls. "Nonsense, Ness. I just want you to dance with me. Show me what you got."

"Hopefully she doesn't take after her mother," a familiar voice jokes. She looks over with narrowed eyes at the female giving her a smirk and dancing with one Embry Call. She bristles at the insult, but laughs once to appear unmoved. Jacob looks down at her challengingly.

She sucks it up and starts moving. Her hands to her sides, her feets twisted at an akward angle, but she's swaying her body and bobbing her head. She thinks she's doing okay, Jacob isn't complaining, until she glances over at the other bodies and realizes she's doing it all wrong.

So she tries to mimick what others are doing. Hands over head, moving hips, occassionally touching her neck. And for some reason she tries to mimick the older girl next to her who has her hands thrown around Embry's neck and is non too subtly rubbing her private parts against his playfully and raunchily.

She wonders if she attempts to grind with Jacob, what his reaction would be? She doesn't get the chance to find out because in a quick moment, partners are switched. Was there some sort of signal that she missed?

She finds herself akwardly staring at Seth Clearwater. He shrugs and offers his hand to her with a grin. She lowers her head and shyly takes it, attempting to at least appear to know what she's doing. Hopefully everybody's expectations of her are low, she _is_ only two years old. Surely she couldn't have mastered the art of dry humping in between almost killing her mother and almost having her entire family slaughtered.

But Seth seems to know what he's doing. His hands are on her hips and he's moving closer. She starts to panic, and looks around for Jacob. To her relief, he's no where near a particular she-wolf, but twirling a giggling Kim while Leah's dancing with Jacob's sister and Paul.

She looks at Seth again. He's very cute. And figures what the hell, how can it hurt? So, she throws her inhibitions out the window and. Gets. It. In. She's rolling her hips against his in a more subtle but no less vulgar imitation of what she saw Leah Clearwater doing with an arm dangling over his shoulder and the other limp at her side. He seems shocked for a moment before he smiles and moves closer. Because different species or not, he's a guy. A seventeen year old guy and he has a hot girl rubbing against his junk. Them being mortal enemies be damned, he's not about to turn down any form of crotch rubbing.

She's actually having fun. So much, she forgets where she is and turns her back to him, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind and swaying harder.

Why hasn't she done this before?

His hands are around her slim waist, but they're dropping further and they're on the top of her thighs before she actually feels something poking her back.

What the hell...

She freezes and he notices because he pulls his hips back. Too late.

The cat calls and wolf whistles come so quick she doesn't have time to blink. Her face burns and she tries to scan the crowd without making direct eye contact with anyone. She only notices two pairs of eyes. The first pair has murder in them, glaring at her with disbelief and disdain swirling in the grey pupils.

The second pair is amused, dark eyes twinkling with mischief as he joins in the teasing. Seth Clearwater seems absolutely mortified as Jacob approaches them. Renesmee too as she stares at her feet - Aunt Alice polished her toes a pretty blue color- and kicks them in the sand. "Is it time to go home, yet?"

Jacob chuckles and tosses an arm around her shoulder. "Come on, wild girl. Let's get you home before Seth ruins your innocence."

She blushes furiously. Seth shuffles uncomfortably.

The car ride is horribly akward because out of the blue, her and Jacob's quality time is intruded on by a pair of siblings. One who hates her, the other she just grinded on. And she's been reduced to sitting in the back! Because_ she's_ sitting in the front.

_We're just friends_

She tries to glare lasers through _her _head. The older girl seems to sense this as she keeps shooting smug looks in the rearview mirror.

She's seated as far away from Seth as possible.

They drop the Clearwaters off first. Seth shoots out the car as if it's on fire, tossing a 'Bye Jacob' and whispering a 'Bye Nessie' before shooting in the house.

_She _leans over and whispers something in Jacob's ear, her hand disappearing over the gear shift.

Renesmee pretends not to hear the whispered promises of what she plans on doing to him tonight. She pretends not to notice the smile light up Jacob's face. And she pretends not to notice the hand on Jacob's lap.

"Bye, Nessie," Leah tosses dryly over her shoulder. As soon as she's out the car, before the door has even closed, Renesmee climbs to the front.

"You and Leah seem close," she remarks, crossing her arms and avoiding his eyes.

He laughs at her again and casually tosses an arm around her shoulder, driving with one hand. "We're just friends, Ness."


	3. The Talk: Jacob Edition

_As always, thanks for the response. Reviews, alerts, and favorites. Keep it up, I enjoy hearing your feedback. _

_Chapter 3: The Talk: Jacob Edition_

* * *

_But I'm going to do it with my tongue really really slow and then..._

She switches her thoughts from the echo of promises she heard two days ago to the first song that she can think of when her father walks in the room. He stops dead in his tracks and eyes her curiously as she flips through her book chanting the entire Grease soundtrack in her mind.

"I'm going to go hunting with your mom and the family, Sweetie. Do you want to come?"

"No thank you, Daddy. I'm fine." She holds up her copy of Little Women and smiles sweetly at him.

_Then when it's all gone I'm going to take my hand and SUMMER DREAMS DON'T MEAN A THING BUT OH OH THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS! WELL A WELL A WELL A WELL TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE and I'm going to wear your favorite, the purple one DID YOU GET VERY FAR TELL ME MORE TELL MORE MORE LIKE DOES HE HAVE A CAR._

He looks at her strangely, but before he can ask questions she cuts him off with an abrupt, "See you later, Daddy." She jumps up to kiss his cheek and dashes at inhuman speed to her room. She waits until she hears the footsteps of her family disappear before she drops her book and leans out the window.

"Hello?"

She knows a wolf is outside of her home. It's protocol that they patrol this area and especially keep a close watch on the Cullens. Mainly Jacob. Sometimes Seth. Rarely Leah. Occassionally Embry or Quil. She breathes a sigh of relief when her wolf exits the forest with a curious expression in his features. "Jacob, can you phase so that we c-can talk?"

She must be crazy. She's convinced she's an absolute lunatic for indulging in the conversation she's about to indulge in, but she's truly curious. It takes no time for him to phase back to human and pull up his shorts. He walks through the door like he owns the place and treks mud on the tile floors. He grins down at the marks. "Blondie going's to want my head on a platter for that."

She folds herself into the smallest ball possible and tucks her chin into her knees. He drops down next to her and tosses a casual arm around her. "How's my favorite girl today?"

She giggles and snuggles into him. "I'm good. How's my favorite wolf today?"

"Oh, Seth? He's okay. Failing Calculus and World History though."

She looks up bright red and stammers, but he squeezes her lips between his fingers and grins his grin at her. "I'm just kidding, Ness. I'm cool, what's wrong?"

She takes a deep breath and buries her face into his side. He holds her tighter and brushes her bronze hair from her face. She mumbles into his neck but all he hears is, "Twemwbuex."

"What? Nessie, I can't understand you."

She's sure her face is an alarming shade of red, she blames her mother, and repeats a little louder, "Tell me about sex."

It's silent, too silent, and she can't feel him breathing. She looks up in fear only to find him staring at her in wide eyed alarm. He stutters, "W-what? Why? Renesmee, why the fu-I mean heck are you asking me about s-_that _for?"

"Because I wanna know. If I'd known you were going to have this reaction I wouldn't have wasted my time. I thought you of all people wouldn't treat me like some child."

She pulls away from him and pushes herself to the other side of the couch, turning her face to hide her embarrassment. He pulls her back by her arm. "Don't even try that, Ness. Don't try to guilt trip me. Why didn't you ask your mother about this?"

She was a previous prude turned sex fiend, she might have offered some good advice he thought. "Because no matter what activities she partakes in, she's still bashful about outwardly speaking of it."

"Well, why didn't you ask your father about this activity?"

"He's a prude."

Jacob snorts but then sobers up quickly, trying and failing to hold back his grin. "What makes you think that?"

"Because he's been _wanking_ it for a century."

Jacob's eyebrows raise to his hairline as he silently curses in his head. "Who told you that?"

"That's what Uncle Emmett told me. And he said Dad doesn't inflict nearly as much damage as he should."

He doesn't know whether to laugh or be angry that the big fuck is slyly telling his imprint her father can't put it on her mother the way he should be able to. He quickly erases that visual from his head. "Well, what about your Uncle Em-no, never mind. Forget that suggestion."

He mentally goes through a list in his mind. Edward's a prude. Bella's bashful. Emmett will scar her. "Well what about your grandfather? He's a doctor. He's been doing this since the Stone Age. Or Blondie? Or Esme? I'm sure Pixie would be of great help."

"But they'll all treat me like a child, Jacob. I want to be told the truth. Like how does an...how does an o-orgasm feel?"

He chokes as his spit goes down the wrong way and pounds on his chest. "Who taught you that word? Was it Emmett? I swear I'll-"

"No," she whispers. "I looked it up on the internet."

"What? Why are you looking up orgasms on the internet? Are you _that _bored? I'll take you to the beach or something if you need something to do that bad."

She shakes her head furiously, growing bolder by the second. "No, I was just curious."

"About orgasms? But why?"

"Why can't you just answer my questions? You have absolutely no problem discussing it with Leah."

Now it's his turn to grow red. "Me and L- that's completely different. We- that's not- pr-"

Renesmee crosses her ams, "That's what I thought."

They sit in an akward silence. Something they've never done before. Renesmee thinks it's her fault. She's ruined their relationship. She immediately apologizes. "Jake, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought you wouldn't mind."

He pulls her closer. "Ness, you're my imprint. You know I'd do anything for you. But just because you look sixteen doesn't mean that you should have to think like a teenager. Technically, you're only two. You shouldn't worry about certain _activities _until later."

She nods against him and murmers a quiet, "Okay."

They turn on the television and just sit there watching Rocky until he feels her start to bounce her leg up and down and hears her deep intake of breath. "Jacob?"

"Yeah, Ness?"

"Do you have orgasms with Leah?"

"RENESMEE!"

"Okay, okay. Sorry."

* * *

_Recent Search History_

_Sex_

_What is Sex?_

_How does Sex feel?_

_Orgasms._

_What are orgasms?_

_How do you get orgasms?_

_www . sexual _release_techniques .org_

_http : / the_ins_and_outs_of_the_vagina . net_

_www . the_anatomy_of_the_penis . com_

_what is doggy style?_

_Let's Talk About Sex Lyrics by Salt N Pepa_

_www . teenage_help_questions . com/ who do you go to for help with a personal matter_

_Answer 1: As teenagers, you feel out of touch with most of the world. Your family doesn't understand, your peers are quick to judge. For help with personal issues, the best idea would be to go to someone familiar but not particulary close. Someone who can keep a secret. Someone who will understand, but not pity you. Someone honest, but not taunting. Constructive critism is good until it borders insulting. Preferably someone of the same sex so that the comfort level is there, but no one so close that the next time you speak it'll be awkward and tension will always be in the air. Sometimes help is found in the last person you'd expect._


	4. Sharing

_As always, thanks for the feedback. Glad you guys like reading it as much as I like writing it. I actually kind of have a soft spot for Nessie sometimes (it's not her fault her parents are idiots) _

_Next chapter: In which Nessie puts seduction skills to the test. Next Next chapter: A little girl talk._

_Chapter 4: Sharing_

* * *

She is really aware, embarrassingly so, of his presence next to her, but she's paying more attention to the pair of wolves sitting across from her.

It's Kim Cayiak's 19th birthday celebration today. From what Renesmee has gathered, Kim isn't really a people's person. She's shy, mostly stays to herself. She was never particularly popular, that hasn't changed.

And Jared Cameron absolutely adores his imprint. They've stayed in contact the entire night, stealing kisses here and playing with fingers there. And it makes Renesmee confused (and a bit angry) because why aren't her and Jacob like that.

Renesmee sits absolutely boxed in. Seth Clearwater (blush) on her left, Embry Call on her right, Quil Ateara on Seth's (blush) left, little Claire on his left, Leah Clearwater (scowl) on her left, and Jacob on her left. Which makes the dynamic duo across from her.

Joy.

Her heated scowl lands on Jacob's large arm as he attempts to sling it around Leah's shoulder. But being her wolf and her his imprint, he can feel when her emotions are bubbling out of control. So at the look in her eyes, he pretends that the move was a stretch and awkwardly pulls his arm back to his lap.

Leah questions him silently with her eyes. He shakes his head and mumbles that he had a cramp. Embry snorts. Quil rolls his eyes. Claire wants more pizza. And Leah meets her victorious gaze across the table with a fierce glare.

Renesmee doesn't like sharing.

Not that considers a six foot seven 230 pound shapeshifter a possession, but it's the moral of the thing.

Jacob won't look her in the eye. Hasn't for three weeks. She gives him some space because...guys need that right? But she's lonely, she wants her wolf. Not like she's an overbearing physcotic girlfriend -she's not even in the girlfriend stage- but he did make the claim to her first.

_Whatever she needs, whenever she wants, however. Anything, everything. _

But she doesn't want to push Jacob away, so she keeps quiet and attempts to make him feel comfortable around her again.

Once, her father joked and asked him why he was singing old Pocahontas songs in his head. He coughed, looked away.

The official party ends and everybody who doesn't have eyesight problems, bad knees, arthiritis, wrinkles, or the ability to mention anything in the seventies moves from the pizza parlor to the beach.

Jacob has her buried into his side and she smiles. Jacob feels like comfort and normal. He's warm, he's Jacob. He's everything she wishes the world was. And she's actually enjoying herself.

At least until _she_ walks past and his eyes followed her legs like they hold the cure to cancer.

Somewhere between eleven slices of cake and fourteen hotdogs, Jacob starts up a football game with the Pack.

It was violent to say the least. If any normal boy would have played, his spleen might have ruptered. When Paul Lahote tackled Embry so hard the sand flew in several directions and left a permanent indenture in the ground, Rachel Black cheered so hard she almost twisted her ankle.

"It gets rough out there, huh?"

Blush. Blush. Blush. Blush. "Sure. Why aren't you playing?"

"Can't risk breaking something. I might need my body later on."

When her eyes widened, he bit his lip and looked down. "That sounded horrible," he mumbled.

His hair fell in his eyes. She wants to touch it. "No, it's okay."

"Did you have fun."

He looked so hopeful, she couldn't help but smile. "It was nice."

Awkard silence cleared by a quick cough. "You look pretty."

She smiles. Blush. Blush. Blush. "So do you."

She wants to slap herself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. "I meant..nice. You look...nice..and stuff."

She can quote Shakespeare, read hieroglyphics, speak and read seven languages fluently, including Latin and archaic Latin, and the best compliment she can come up with is...you look nice and stuff?

She's a disgrace to the half vampire race.

"Thanks. I try my best to look nice and stuff."

Renesmee snorts in amusment, "Half the time I see you, you aren't wearing any clothes."

Face palm. Blush. Slap.

"Comes with the territory."

"No, it's okay...I don't mind."

Seth's eyes twinkle, he's been hanging around Paul too much. His mind delves into the grimy pits of the gutter. "Oh?"

She looks down at her fingers before looking through her lashes at him. "No."

Her attention focuses on the game once more where she sees _her _tackled lightly by Jacob and she frowns. Her frown deepens as he takes his hand and wipes sand from her face before pushing her hair back.

"Jacob, can we go? I'm a little tired," she calls to him and he immediately gets up and walks in her direction. Leah's eyes narrow as they call her bullshit. Renesmee shrugs and pulls a trick out of the Leah handbook by winking. Leah's face darkens.

Renesmee stands and brushes sand from her shorts. "It was nice talking to you, maybe we can just hang sometime."

Nessie looks down and smiles, "Okay."

"Shit, my car keys," Jacob mutters before turning back around. Leah is already standing and dangling them from her pinky with a smirk. Jacob has her beat by at least eight inches, so he has to reach down instead of up and when he does she quickly presses her lips to his neck and whispers something in his ear too low for her to ear, and damn if she didn't try. He grins and wraps an arm around her waist. Leah stands on her toes and wraps her arms around his thick neck.

And then _she _winks at Renesmee.

Renesmee waits for Jacob and as soon as he's close enough, grabs his hand and fakes a yawn. It's convincing enough where he grins and lifts her into his arms bridal style. She waves at Seth over his shoulder, and wiggles her fingers in a mocking wave at Leah who returns the gesture, lingering a little too much on the middle finger.


	5. Come Hither

_*Yawns* I'm tired peoples. Wanted to pump this out because I'm tweaking to write the Leah/Renesmee talk next chapter. Hopefully I get it done tomorrow before I'm backed up with classes. Nessie's so confused, and Seth really is trying. Chapter is more of a filler, but it sets us up for The Talk: Leah Edition coming to a site near you. _

_Questions, comments, concerns._

* * *

She smells him before she sees him and opens the door before he has a chance to knock. He raises a bag of movies and grins. "Ready to take me up on that offer to chill?"

His timing really couldn't have been more perfect.

"Where's Bella and Edward?"

She runs her hands through her hair to tame her curls and is glad she chose to change into jeans and a tank top instead of keep on the flannel pajamas like she planned. "They're both at the big house. I was on my way over there in a few."

"Oh, we can do this another time if you-"

"No!" she shouts, but tries to play it off with a laugh. "Now is good."

He grins at her. "Cool."

They plop down in front the big screen and he pulls out a stack of DVDs. Her eyes scan them quickly. Action. Horror. Thriller. She smiles and picks one up. "How about this one?"

He does a double take. "Ew, no. That isn't supposed to even be in there."

"Come on, please?"

She gives him the look. The look that gets her whatever she wants. And he caves like the rest. "Alright, Ness. But if you tell anybody that I sat here and watched the Titanic with you, I'm never speaking to you again."

She laughs. "Come on, it's a good movie."

"Four hours? We already knew what was going to happen before the movie started. It's a movie about a ship. The description reveals the entire plot. So, why draw it out for four hours! Just bring on the water."

"I take it you didn't go to see it in 3D?"

He snorts. "I don't even watch it in 2D."

She picks up another DVD. _Transformers. _"Oh, but you'll sit through two hours of pointless crap to watch machines come to life and Megan Fox's ass?"

He's so into the conversation, he doesn't even acknowledge her slip of the tongue. "That's different. Nobody watches Transformers for the plot! Just like nobody sits through The Fast and the Furious movies for the plot. Action and girls. It's every guy's dream movie."

One step away from porn, but he doesn't say that.

She scoffs, "Right. So movies with actual meaning don't interest you?"

He waves his hand frantically at the DVD. "Meaning? What meaning?"

"True love? Risks? Doing something daring. Something no one expects."

"Ppssh, he saved her crazy ass from jumping into an ocean. She invited him to dinner. They danced in low class. He drew her naked. They ran from some guy. Sealed the deal in a car. Ice berg hit. Boom. Ship goes down. There's running, screaming, the band is playing as the ship sinks," he laughs at this, "a bunch of meaningless promises, she chops off handcuffs, more running, more promises, bam they hit water. She climbs on top the wood thingy...by herself might I add. Yeah, that's real love."

She cuts him off, "It would have sunk if he got on."

"They should have alternated turns. Blah blah blah..she's found. She changes her name..jump foward...she throws the biggest diamond I've ever seen into the ocean! Who does that? She could feed every starving child in America with that thing."

"She needed to let go of her past."

"Regardless, it's just as pointless. Like those cheer movies...uh..." he snaps his fingers and bites his lip, "Bring it On. Nobody watches it for the plot. To sees them overcome the negatives of the cheerworld. Just to see pretty flexible girls in short skirts parade around the whole movie. Or in girls cases, for the cute outfits and cool stunts that they'll never be able to do. I mean, there's what four, five of them? How many times are they going to prove they can bring it?"

She laughs and pushes his shoulder. "You are such a boy."

"I try."

After all of that, they still end up sitting on the floor against the couch watching Titanic. Seth manages to keeps the yawns to a minimum and everything is going fine until _the scene_ comes on. THE SCENE. The car scene.

And then things get awkward because he feels Nessie scoot closer to him.

She tilts her head when Rose slaps the glass and slides the steam away. In a bold move, she places her hand on Seth's thigh. He jumps and scoots away. From what she's read, he is not supposed to have that reaction. Her eyebrows furrow and she scoots closer again. This time she leans her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came over. I was really bored. It gets lonely not having any friends besides non sociable vampires and an obligated werewolf."

"No problem, Ness. You have friends." He grins down at her. "I'm your friend."

"I know," she sighs. And just because, she kisses his shoulder. And then his neck. When she gets to the corner of his mouth is when he jumps up. Well, that's the opposite of what she hoped for. The rejected expression on her face immediately makes him feel guilty.

"Ness, what are you doing?"

She shrugs, "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well..it wasn't."

She looks at him through her lashes. "Why? I thought you liked me?"

He stammers. "I d-do."

"Is it because you don't find me attractive?"

"You're very pretty, Ness."

"I didn't ask that," she states bluntly, climbing to her feet. "I asked if you were attracted to me."

"Ness..." he trails off.

"Then what's the problem? Don't guys who are attracted to girls do this?"

And she throws herself at him so quick he doesn't even see it coming. She presses her lips to his the way she's seen in movies and presses her hips against his. Her eyes close as he slowly starts caving, but his hands still flutter nervously and she grows frustrated. Her soulmate is sleeping with his sister, the least he could do is grope her properly.

Her hands are clinging to his neck and the contact causes a swarm of images to transmit from her mind to him. And her mind is full of suggestions that he would be locked up for even thinking about doing to a two year old...two year old...TWO YEAR OLD. He jumps back so fast he catches whiplash.

"No, Ness, this is so wrong." He laughs even though he finds nothing funny. He runs his hand through his hair and avoids her eyes because he can smell the salt of the tears streaming down her face.

"Why?" she growls.

"Nessie...you...I'm not. Nessie, you're my Alpha's imprint.

"So!" she half shouts. "He's_ my_ imprint and he's having orgasms with _your_ sister."

Seth throws up a little in his mouth.

"Renesmee, you're a child. I can't. It's wrong and I won't."

"Do I look like a child?" she presses, motioning to her body.

Seth groans. Don't look. Don't look.

"Regardless, Ness. You are. You're only two years old for goodness sakes!"

"Am I really? Am I two? Or sixteen? I'm a child and I'm not a child. I'm an adult and I'm not an adult. I'm not a child, not an adult, not a vampire, not a human. What am I?! I'm so many in betweens!" She's really frustrated that she couldn't keep the tears at bay and furiously wipes at her eyes. Seth's expression softens.

"I know it's confusing Nessie, but..."

"But nothing, Seth. But nothing."

"Nessie, I'm sorry."

She sniffs and looks away. "Yeah, so am I."

"I should go."

"That's probably for the best."

"Nessie.."

"Seth, it's okay. It was my mistake, I made it, now I have to deal with the consequences."

He leaves, and the rejection and hurt is so fresh in her mind that she can't stop thinking about it. Even when her father comes home.

There's yelling, a bunch of threats. Renesmee really doesn't care...no one told her how much rejection hurt. Edward's murderous expression softens just the tiniest bit and he tells Bella her thoughts. Her mother sits next to her, puts an arm around her shoulder, and tells her that she knows how it feels and to let it all out in her mind because she's shielding her now. She kisses her head and leaves her be, but Renesmee doesn't respond because it's all a crock of shit.

Her mom doesn't know how rejection feels because she's never been on the receiving end of it. She's always been the rejecter. With a throaty grown she grabs her laptop and pulls up google.

_Can you die of embarrasment?_

She clicks the Yahoo Answers link and reads the top answer.

_Unfortunately not. Embarrasment is something we all have to endure in life. Every living breathing human gets embarrased. it only temporarily kills pride, dignity, or self esteem. Not humans. _

She wonders if that applies to half humans as well.


	6. The Talk: Leah Edition

A/N: I gave Nessie some cajones grandes. We all knew this day would come. Then we could get back to the lightheartedness on this drabble. Up next: Jacob is shed some insight on why his girls don't like each other. Thanks for the responses. Btw: THe Cullens aren't a big part of this drabble because...well...what purpose would they serve? Just tossed that in in case there was any confusion.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

* * *

Icecream helped.

She thought it was a myth created by the woman scorned, but it was in fact true. She had grabbed a large carton of Chunky Chip, a giant spoon, and hadn't looked back since. Her parents let her be. Thankfully. So she plopped herself on her bed with her calorie ridden friend and pathetically watched The Notebook.

When Allie told Noah she had to go when he asked her to stay, Renesmee scowled and muttered, "I know how you feel, Noah. I know how you feel."

Twenty minutes later, she was about to toss in The Time Traveller's Wife when she heard the object of much scorn in her life. She paused her actions and strained to hear.

"Leah? This is a...surprise. Would you like to come in?" she heard her mother. She heard the answering snort.

"No, actually, I came for Renesmee. I'm taking her to La Push."

Renesmee frowned. She didn't know she was going to La Push today. She heard her mother answer, "Oh, I didn't know Jacob-"

Leah cut her off. "This isn't Jacob's decision. It's mine. You know...girl time."

She couldn't see Leah's expression, but whatever was going through her mind had her father fixed to say no until she barged from her room and told her to wait while she got dressed.

It took two minutes to toss on some shorts, a tee, her Converse, and put her hair into a ponytail before she gave her mother and father a kiss on the cheek and stood expectantly in front of Leah who was leaned against the doorway wearing a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "You ready?"

"Let's go."

They walked a good distance before either one of them spoke. Nessie broke the silence first. "So, what is this about? I'm pretty sure you don't want to spend quality time with me."

She didn't realize Leah had stopped walking until she turned around and noticed her rigid stance. Nessie felt her heartrate increase as she jumped to conclusions. Did she drag her out here to fight? She sized her up. Leah was 5 inches taller, a little thicker, and had more muscles than Nessie could ever dream of having. But she was half vampire, that had to count for something. She wasn't going down without a fight.

She straightened and waited. Leah tilted her head. "You know something interesting, Renesmee?"

"What?"

"My brother can not for the life of him get this image out of his little perverted mind."

Gulp. This was it. The big revelation. She knew. And she was here to kill her. Did Jacob know? Would Jacob hate her now? She almost cried at the notion.

"It involved Leonardo DiCaprio, sinking ships, popcorn...and your little hand trying to find its way to his zipper. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Renesmee crossed her arms as she felt an inexplicable surge of anger. "And if I do? I fail to see how that is any of your concern."

Leah's eyebrows raised to her hairline as she snorted. "It is very much my concern. He is my brother. What concerns him, concerns me. And some little child trying to seduce him makes me very concerned."

She didn't know where the confidence was coming from, but it was there. She figured, Leah was already going to slaughter her. She had nothing to lose, so she might as well go out with a bang. "Seth is 17. Not 7. He's capable of taking care of himself."

Leah snorted, "Please. He still doesn't know how to do laundry."

"I fail to see what that has to do with us having orgasms." The second that slipped out, she wished she could take it back. She was not supposed to say that. She felt her cheeks flare and her knees turn to goo. Rejection, embarasment. She was just on a roll.

She cautiously watched as Leah went wide eyed before she broke out into laughter. Tear streaming, head thrown back, stomach clutching laughter.

Renesmee scowled and sniffed. "You finished, yet?"

She sobered immediately and tilted her lips up. "Renesmee. Do you know what you sound like right now?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Like a ridiculous little girl."

Ridiculous. Little. Girl.

The words danced through her mind as she felt herself getting hot with rage. How. Dare. She? Ridiculous little girl. Was that all she was in people's eyes? A ridiculous little girl? Was that what Jacob saw her as? His ridiculous obligation? Seth? Was that why he didn't want her? She was a ridiculous little girl? She couldn't stop the tears that formed in her eyes, but she could reduce the patheticness she felt.

So Leah wanted to play tit for tat? What was the saying? Play with fire and get burned? Well, what better way to fight fire...than with fire?

So she composed herself, and despite the tear rolling down her cheek, she quirked an eyebrow and bared her teeth. "I'm ridiculous, Leah? Me? Funny, how you claim me to be ridiculous, yet the only ridiculous person I see here is you. Trying to fight nature. You keep trying so hard to get Jacob's attention, where I don't have to try at all. You want to keep everything to yourself. Seth. Jacob. Well, newsflash, Leah. Your pitiful excuses to act like a raging bitch all the time are _ridiculous_ and quite frankly, pointless. _Nobody cares_. And the sooner your realize that, the better. Sure, you might be screwing Jacob. But that's all you'll ever be, _is screwing Jacob_. That's all you are to him, a warm body to hold at night. And the fact that you think any different, is _ridiculous_. Matter of fact, you might think that I'm _ridiculous_, but I think that you are just plain _pathetic_."

Her chest was heaving by the time she was through and her cheeks were flush. She panted wildly and blinked when she realized that Leah had started to clap slowly.

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

She tooks several steps forward and stood to her full height, casting a shadow over Renesmee. Her greys eyes had darkened to a dangerous silver color and were swirling in anger. Renesmee felt her cool breath as it swept across her face. "You finished, little bit? Cause now, it's my turn."

Renesmee gulped as she hissed through her teeth, "Get away from me."

"No, you listen. _And you listen good_. I'm not going to rip you a new one, because in my eyes all you are is a selfish little brat used to getting her way and when things go wrong you throw little temper tantrums like you just did. By the way, how long did you practice that in the mirror? It was oscar worthy, you're almost better at that shit than your mom. You know why you don't like me, Renesmee? It's because you're scared of me. I'm a threat to your perfect little existence. I'm the catalyst in your little world tumbling. As for Jacob? Yeah, I'm _fucking_ him. He's your imprint, he's supposed to cater to you, yet he spends almost every waking moment with me. Do the math. A warm body to hold? Sure. But it's my body he's holding, and not your's. And that kills you. As for my brother, the dumb little twit. I love him, with all of my fucking heart. And when I see something as a threat to him, I squash it. Right now, in my eyes, you're that threat. I'm going to say this once, and then no more. This is your last warning you little brat. Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me. You think you can handle it? Well, newsflash to you, _Nessie, _you can't."

Nessie's heart dropped as her bottom lip trembled. She took a deep breath before she slid down a tree and sniffed. Leah rolled her eyes. "Damn, little brat. I thought you were made from sterner stuff. My mistake. But like I told you, you can't handle what I can dish out. So, for future reference, don't try."

"Just leave me alone, Leah." she snapped.

Leah's boot tapped against the forest floor and she snorted. "Like I'm just going to leave you here."

"Leah, just go. You've made it quite clear you don't give a damn what happens to me."

Surprisingly, Leah laughed. "You have a potty mouth, Princess."

"So do you. It's a thousand times worse than mine."

"Regardless, you have one. You have balls too. That's good. Though, word of advice. After attempting to be badass, please don't start crying afterwards. That takes away the whole affect." The playful tone made Nessie look up. Just 5 seconds ago, Leah was telling her basically she was shit, now she was teasing her. Her emotions switched so much, she was getting dizzy.

"You would know, I guess."

"That I would." She watched Leah gnaw on her lips before sighing and parking across from her on a rock. "Look, Brat, despite what you think, I'm not purposefully trying to take Jake away from you. When...when there's something between people, things happen, and that happened for me and Jacob. You can't help who you're attracted to. But you have to know your limitations. Like throwing hissy fits when you don't get your way? Yeah. Don't. I did it for two years. It was exhausting and only resulted in pointless drama. You claim to be so grown, act like it. You don't want to be treated like a child, don't act like one."

"I try!" she shouted in frustration, tossing her hands to the sky. "What?" she demanded when Leah gave her a look.

Leah waved her hand and motioned towards her, "That little fit you just threw, yeah...that wasn't childish at all."

Sarcasm at its best.

"Well what am I supposed to do? I just feel...lost."

She had not planned on pouring her heart out to her nemesis. But if Leah was the only one who was going to give it to her straight, she would take it.

"I feel like a...freak among freaks."

Leah smirked. "Wow. You sound like me. " Then she scrunched up her face as if she tasted something bitter. "Repeat that to no one."

She shifted and cleared her throat. "Renesmee. Look, just because you know Shakespeare and Poe doesn't make you grown. Just because you know a billion languages and can prove scientific theories wrong doesn't make you an adult. Feeling like a freak? I get it. I get feeling like you don't belong. It's hard. But I got through it, and your ass will too. As for the little sex thing you seem to be way too interested in," Leah gave her a look, "don't rush that either. Damn, girl, go soak in some ice or something. I would tell you something else...but I keep reminding myself that you are only two years old and you live in a house full of virtuous vampires. You wanna know what sex feels like? It depends. It depends on the time, the place, your emotions, and most of all the person. You can have bad sex your entire life with someone you love, good sex with a thousand people who you barely know, or you can luck up and get your socks rocked by someone you care about deeply. And that's that. There's no need to put anymore of your seduction techiniques on my brother, either. I know you think that just because you've only been around for two years, it doesn't give you the mentality of a two year old...but still. It's kinda creepy."

Renesmee remained silent until she quirked a smile. "Is this the part where we hug?"

"No," Leah declared flatly.

She watched as Leah got up and dusted herself off. "And Leah!" she called as she started to walk away. Leah glanced over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow. "Thanks."

"I still don't like you, little brat."

"I know. I still don't like you either."

"Wait!" she called again. "Where are you going? I thought you said you wouldn't leave me out here?"

"Please, Princess, I have much better things to do."

"Like what?" Renesmee challenged.

Leah got this wicked look in her eyes before shrugging and answering.

"Like Jacob."

And then she swished away.

Renesmee: 0 Leah: 1


End file.
